24 brand new hours

It will come as no surprise to those who know me well that I can be rather hard on myself. I tend to feel that I should already know how to do something, even if it's the first time. Sometimes I fuck up in some major (to me) way, but mostly I beat myself up over small things. Not enough of this, too much of that.

But the thing that keeps it all in perspective for me at the end of the day is knowing that tomorrow I begin again, with 24 brand new hours. There is so much freedom in the realization that the choices I made today don't have to be the choices I make tomorrow.

I should mention that this idea is not my own, but was introduced to me by the Vietnamese monk, Thich Nhat Hanh, and I wrote about it two years ago in this post.

A lot has been happening here since the last time I posted, and much of it deserves posts of their own. I'll give you some highlights and a teaser that there's some great stuff coming this summer. Can't quite blog about it yet, but soon!

It's been a year now since I started teaching after school art in my home. It's been an amazing experience. I regularly post photos of the beautiful (truly) work these kids do. Please take a moment and visit the photo gallery.

Last fall I found myself bored one afternoon (I don't handle boredom well), so I started looking online for volunteer opportunities. Within about a week I found myself as Site Coordinator for Sabin Elementary's SMART program. SMART is an amazing literacy program in many schools throughout Oregon and I work with about 30 children and 30 adult volunteers twice a week. Guess what? I'm not bored anymore!

I've started studying French again, with a vengeance. This is actually what prompted today's post about 24 brand new hours. I've been studying French off and on since I was 15 years old, and I haven't improved much. But I recently had a paradigm shift, which has changed everything. First of all, I realized that either I was in this for the long haul, or there was just no point in trying. I kept thinking that I could cram in a bunch of French for a few months and then be good at it. Or worse, that I should already be good at it. Now I finally realize that it's a lifelong undertaking. Realizing that has changed the way I'm approaching learning and, as a result, I've had lots of breakthroughs in the past few weeks. (Maybe I'll post some resources at some point. There's a lot of great ones out there).

I have a new favorite song. Ok, not a revelation, but it's replaced the song that was my favorite for about the past 15 years. I just love the way their voices sound together.

There's more to come.

Up to no good

For reasons I can't really explain, I got an urge to make candy last weekend. I don't particularly like candy — I prefer my sugar mixed with flour and butter and applied directly to my midsection. That said, we made sea salt caramels from this recipe and peppermint bark and pistachio-cranberry-pumpkin seed bark and they pretty much rock. The bark couldn't be easier to make. Just melt good chocolate (I used Trader Joe's 72% cacao, but you can use milk, white, whatever) in a double boiler. Pour melted chocolate into a waxed paper-lined pan and top with whatever you choose. We found putting it in the fridge for a few hours helped it set up.









And now we're off to California, for some end-of-year festivities. See you all in 2012!

The 5th unbirthday

Happy birthday, Dad. Despite the fact that you've been gone 4 1/2 years, you are still very much a presence in my life on a daily basis.

Boo!

Somehow Fall has begun here in Portland, just when most of us locals had barely adjusted to summer. Honestly, I'm glad. While I do love daily sunshine, I'm not crazy about heat. Anything over 75 just feels unnecessary to me! I love the opportunity to put on boots and a sweater; to make soups and bake with abandon (these cookies have made a comeback); to cozy up with a book in front of a rainy window.

Golden

Mixed media collage using Golden acrylics and mediums on Tyvek fabric.

When I was younger I was always making something. The medium didn't matter, as long as I could create. Once I became a working professional my creative output slowed, but it was always there in fits and spurts. And then I became a mom.

For the past 6 years any art or creative project I've worked on existed in the realm of "mom". Either I was doing art with Anna or making something for Anna. And more recently, I started teaching art to other children. But I haven't really been doing any art of my own.

A few weeks ago I was in Collage, a great local art store, when I saw a mixed-media piece on display. It had layers of beautiful colors, glazes and collage elements all applied in a reverse process on clear acrylic, so you viewed it from the opposite side from which it was worked. I was intrigued. I thought about that piece for a few days, and I couldn't escape the pull. I really wanted to know how it was made.

Recently I got a chance to find out. I spent 5 1/2 hours in a workshop with the artist herself: author, teacher, and Golden Working Artist, Chris Cozen. Chris was great, blasting through four different techniques using Golden acrylics on unusual surfaces (Yupo paper, Tyvek kite fabric, clear upholstery vinyl, and clear acrylic). I have to say that although it was the work on the clear acrylic that drew me into the workshop, I think I actually enjoyed working on the Tyvek fabric best. And what's really cool is that you can sew it too, so I'm very interested in working with it more! For those of you who are curious about these techniques, Chris offers online workshops. She was a great teacher and I recommend her highly.

At the end of the day, I was asking Chris some questions about using the Tyvek for bookbinding. I mentioned that I'm teaching a Book Arts Camp for kids this summer, and Chris got very interested. We talked a bit about the camps and classes I teach and then she did something totally unexpected. She packed up ALL the Golden paints we worked with that day and gave them to me for use in my classes! Honestly, I had been looking at all those colors enviously throughout the workshop, because I knew I'd never be able to afford to buy such a rich assortment on my own. I cannot thank Chris and Golden enough. It was such a wonderful ending to a really great day.

To see Chris's work, visit her website: chriscozenartist.com

I'll Follow the Sun

Shortly after my father died, I had a powerful dream about him. We were walking outside by a pool, and Dad was wearing golden-yellow swim trunks. Without saying a word he laid face-down on a chaise lounge and his swim trunks turned from gold to black. I laid my body over his and immediately woke with the Beatles song I'll Follow the Sun going through my head. The weird part is that I don't remember ever hearing that song before. Though I was certainly raised with a fair amount of Beatles songs in my repertoire, that wasn't one of them. That dream has stayed completely vivid for me, four years later. More like a memory than a dream.


1970


1984


1992


2001

I'll Follow the Sun
by The Beatles

One day you'll look to see I've gone
For tomorrow may rain,
so I'll follow the sun

Some day you'll know I was the one
But tomorrow may rain,
so I'll follow the sun

And now the time has come
and, my love, I must go
And though I lose a friend
In the end you will know, oh

One day you'll find that I have gone
But tomorrow may rain,
so I'll follow the sun
But tomorrow may rain,
so I'll follow the sun

And now the time has come
and, my love, I must go
And though I lose a friend
In the end you will know, oh

One day you'll find that I have gone
But tomorrow may rain,
so I'll follow the sun

I love you, Dad. You were my sun.

Steven Millman Rappaport
1942-2007

Spring Tulips!

Yesterday was the first day (and perhaps the last for a while!) that truly felt like Spring here in Portland. It was sunny and in the high 60s, and it seemed all of Portland was outside basking in it.

About 45 minutes South of Portland, in the forgettable town of Woodburn, is the Wooden Shoe Tulip Farm. We spent the afternoon basking in the warm sun and the riot of color. It was fabulous enough to make up for the fact that we're back to grey skies and rain today. We Portlanders are nothing if not resilient to the vicissitudes of the weather!